corders in the hague

It's like having the Corders round for dinner - except the kids don't smash stuff and Mike doesn't drink all your booze. And when you're bored you can get rid of us with a mouse click rather than having to start tidying up the house.

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Location: The Hague, Netherlands

Monday, April 02, 2007

Dingo facts and figures II

I’m no longer keeping count, but shitting and pissing in the house has already reduced to a trickle, so to speak.
To balance it out, any turds she does inside, she now tends to hide more cunningly, so they can lie unseen but not unsmelled for several hours stinking the house out until somebody works out where they are. The advantage of this for shallow and lazy dog owners like me is that I can just pretend not to see/smell the little steaming pile and leave it for somebody else to stumble across and clean up.
Car crashes caused by the dog’s refusal to ride in the car anywhere at all but on the driver’s lap: None (Yet).
Longing looks by attractive women in my general direction (but primarily, I fear, in Dingo’s direction): I’ve lost count. Seriously. This dog is actually more of a babe magnet than a real human baby.
Patio paving slabs undermined by digging: 3.
Flies and bees chased in the back garden: Dozens.
Flies and bees caught in the back garden: None. I think once she finally catches a bee this particular game will end.
Complaints from neighbor: None.
Unsolicited pieces of dog rearing advice from neighbor: Six.
Visits to the vet: One, but it was just for a scheduled vaccination and was thrown in for free by the pound when we bought her.
Nights that the dog has slept from the time I take her out for evening toilet stroll to the time Irmie’s alarm clock goes off in the morning: 1.
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